Closure

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ---Paul Boese

So last Tuesday, Drew and I were given the opportunity to make a statement at the sentencing hearing for the girl that hit us back in September. Her case was on the docket at 8:30, along with about 19 others. All the cases had to do with alcohol...accidents, domestic assault, etc. We sat through some humdingers, I tell ya...one lady was at her plea hearing for driving the wrong way on Santa Fe Drive at 1:00 a.m. and hit another car. She freaked out and fled the scene...only to come back to the police after some encouragement. However, then she told the police she didn't even remember the accident. Another guy was at his sentencing hearing for a third conviction of driving drunk with his kids in the car and this time, he added beating up his wife to the charge. And his attorney, a public defendant, tried to convince the judge that he was an upstanding citizen and needed to be free on bond...hmmm. Totally puts things in perspective.

As I was sitting there through all of these cases, I just stared at Holly Asher, the girl who hit us that night. I stared and stared and stared. She had NO idea who I was...and NO idea I was there to talk to her. She was so at ease, so complacent...she didn't seem worried about anything. I had seen her pull into the parking lot earlier and park just behind me. She was in a jeep, top down, talking on her cell phone, giggling to whomever was on the other end. Again, seemed to not have a care in the world. So as I looked at her, I was ticked. My heart was pounding so hard and I could feel my blood pressure rising. "How could she act like this? Doesn't she know what she has done to my family? The emotional struggles she has caused? She doesn't even care!" I was furious...not a good feeling when you are about to go and stand right next to her, in front of a judge, and say your peace.

After eight or nine cases, I heard "The State calls Holly Asher". She and her sleazy attorney walked up and faced the judge. He asked her attorney if he had reviewed the file and if there was anything he would like to change. He started in on something about "what-she-had-said-about-the-victims-and-that-it-was-wrong-and-nobody-was-hurt-so-why-did-it-even-matter"...or something like that...and our attorney from the DA's office said, "Your Honor, if I could interject." "Of course." "We understand there is some confusion here, but I would like to let the court know that the victim is here today to speak." The look on her face was a complete 180 from her earlier complacency. She was shocked.

I walked up to the podium, every part of my being shaking from the same adrenaline rush I felt the night she hit us, and stood RIGHT next to her. If blood could boil, mine certainly was. "Please state your name for the court" the judge instructed. "ReBecca Damiano," I said. "Go ahead and begin. It is your right to be heard." I began reading my pre-written notes...and was so glad they were pre-written, cause I certainly didn't keep it together...

On the evening of September 20, I had flown in from visiting my childhood best friend in San Francisco. My husband had drug our girls out of bed in order to come and get me at the airport. We enjoyed a quiet ride home, our precious girls sound asleep in their car seats. Sitting at the stop light at Hampden after we got off I-25, my husband and I turned around, staring at how angelic our girls looked, and doing all the things parents do when admiring their sleeping kids. We turned back around, I was driving, knowing the light would turn green soon. All of the sudden, it felt like a bomb went off in our car. Total peace and quiet turned to total chaos. You may not be a mom, but imagine the fear of not being able to get your children out of the car. The accident report said you hit us at 75 mph, but one of the amazing witnesses said you passed him on I-25 going by far much faster. Your headlights were off and you didn't even brake. I wish I could put into words the impact this has had on my family. No insurance can pay to fix the nightmares my 5-year-old has, or the fact that she still cries when I drop her off at school because she doesn't want me to get in the car by myself. For the past seven months, I have been plagued by the what-ifs. A Blood Alcohol level of +.3...! We don't appear to be much different in age, but I cannot comprehend such selfishness. We were lucky--we shouldn't have come away from an accident of this magnitude without injury. The doctors told us that if our girls hadn't have been asleep, their muscles limp, the internal damage from the seat belts could have killed them. We were so fortunate for limited physical injury, but daily, live with the emotional impact YOU have caused. As a mother, I couldn't NOT

come here today to face you. I only wish I could have brought my girls in here today so their faces could be burned into your memory. As as mother, I need to do everything in my power to protect my kids and other innocent kids who are sitting at a stop light simply trying to

get home. We drive by that intersection at least once a day, and more often than not, they point it out and ask me, "Mommy, why did that lady who hit us do that?" How do you explain that to a five and seven-year-old?

This is closure for me--for my family--to address the court today. Your Honor, I am grateful for the opportunity. Thank you.

So...forgiveness...I might not totally be there, yet, but Tuesday was a giant leap, and I'm well on my way.

Hello, blog. Nice to meet you...remember me?

Could I be a worse mom? My last post was December 4th...no Christmas, no New Year's, no pictures of Emerson's 7th birthday?! My oh my, a bad (and busy) mom indeed. Not that it differs from everyone else, but life has been crazy and chaotic, to say it mildly...But I'm back...hopefully. Now that it's almost April and nothing much is happening for awhile. :-) Here are some photos of life since early December...

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Emerson finally lost a tooth!!

The tooth fairy is coming to our house tonight!!

Happy (Belated) Birthday to my baby!

On a very snowy Monday...November 29, 2004...at around one o'clock in the afternoon, Drew and I were blessed with a beautiful Emerson look-alike. She came into the world without a problem, easy for both mom and baby. Little did I know that that little peanut would turn into this amazing, incredible, hysterical, resiliant little beauty. She went without a name until that evening, and though she looked exactly like her sister, she very quickly showed us that even though she may follow in her footsteps, she will do it to the beat of her own drum.

Happy 5th Birthday, Sutton Button. You have blessed and enriched our lives beyond measure.

Hasta la Vista, Tooth #2 (or #4...depending on how you look at it...)

Believe it or not, Sutton Button lost another tooth tonight. Nuts, isn't it?! She's just so stinking cute!!

Above: A beautiful self portrait she took of herself. :-) Only way to get the best view of those missing bottom teeth!

Tooth be gone (but not from who you think)!!!

So...we have successfully (finally!) lost a tooth here in the Damiano house. The first tooth, that is, that wasn't extracted due to trauma. :-) BUT, believe it or not, it wasn't our eldest who lost a tooth, it was our youngest...the one who really can't afford to be losing teeth right now. And Emerson...what a trooper she is! She would DIE to lose a tooth right now. Heck, she would love to even have one loose! But at the ripe ol' age of 6 1/2, no such luck. She sat and watched her little sister have her moment tonight and cheered her on like crazy, cheering and clapping and hugging her. It was awesome!

Our sweet little Sutton Button has had two loose teeth for about the last month, and finally tonight it was hangin' on by a thread, so Daddy pulled it. Yay, Sissy!! Now we are awaiting a visit from the tooth fairy this evening. Hope he went to the bank!

All is well...but man...SCARY!

As some of you already know, Sunday night was a really crappy ending to a great weekend. I spent a fantastic couple of days in the bay area with Kelly. The bad ending began at SFO when I almost missed my flight because the security lines were longer than I have ever seen them. Little did I know, that was the least of it! Drew and the girls had just picked me up from the airport and we were headed home...WHAM!...it felt like a bomb went off in our car. NAILED from behind. Everyone is fine (thank GOD!), but it was VERY scary not only for the girls, but for Drew and I, too. We had just gotten off the interstate at Hampden and I-25 and were sitting at the stop light, waiting for the light to turn green. We were hit from behind by a "suspected" drunk driver, who witnesses say was going somewhere between 80 and 90 miles an hour on the interstate. There were no tire marks, we heard no screeching from behind, so it was clear she didn't slow down at all. When she hit us, we hit the truck in front of us and she ended up in the middle of the intersection. We were so fortunate quite a few people stopped and help us call 911 and most importantly, saw the whole thing happen and gave written statements to the police. I'm anxious to get the accident report to see if it says what her blood alcohol levels were. She was taken by ambulance, but she walked over (stumbled, actually) herself and got in, so she was obviously fine. Her airbags deployed and her car is totaled...not sure about ours yet, but most likely they'll try to fix it since it's mostly on the rear end...who knows. Anyway, we are so thankful everyone is okay. What happened that night has made us feel quite reflective this week, SO thankful for our good graces and whatever angel upstairs who was looking out for us. Had she hit us any differently, we know the outcome would have been much worse. The girls are doing great...asking a lot of questions, which we are happy to talk through with them. They are amazing little people, and went to school the next day like troopers. Here are some photos...they're hard to see because it was so dark, but we tried for insurance purposes. We'll keep you posted on what's next.

Above: not sure how well you can see it, but above is her (totaled) car on the tow truck.

Sutton arrives in Jr. Kindergarten

There she is...my baby. How did she get so big, too? Guess just like always, it's "monkey see, monkey do" around here, so she has to keep growing up just like her big sister. Today marked day one in Mrs. Ott's Jr. Kindergarten class. Sutton has been counting down since to be in Mrs. Ott's class she was two . Mrs. Ott was Emerson's Jr. Kindergarten teacher and made such an amazing impression on both of the girls. We feel truly blessed that Sutton will be able to have her as well. We saw her once over the summer at a swim meet (in early July) and every day since, the first thing Sutton asked when she woke up in the morning was, "Is today the day I start Mrs. Ott's class?" Well, today I could finally say "Yes!" She is lucky because so many of her friends from classes her previous two years at Mission Hills are in her class, plus a gaggle of new friends. I must admit...my heart hurt more than I thought it would when I said good-bye, but I couldn't help but be excited for her when I saw her eyes light up the first time she saw Mrs. Ott. And I knew it was overwhelmingly thrilling for her, too, as she turned into the I'm-quiet-and-I'm-going-to-pretend-I'm-shy girl (that lasted for all of 2.2 seconds).

Overall, such a fun day for her. She was pretty wiped when she went to bed tonight, but still managed to choose her outfits for the next six days!! What a little sweet pea our Sutton Button is. We love you Sutton Elaine!

Sutton yesterday at her "teacher meet and greet".

With big sister Emerson this morning before school.

With Daddy before we had to say good-bye.

With her incredible teacher, Mrs. Ott.

She jumped right in and started an art project with her friend, Eden.

Emerson's first day of first grade...already?!

Don't know how she went from being my tiny little peanut with the big beautiful blue eyes, a binky cemented to her mouth, and her gorgeous little bald head to being a big girl just starting first grade, too embarrassed to hold her dad's hand walking into school and even more embarrassed to kiss him good-bye. Really? As happy as I am for her to go back to school (had I mentioned it had been a looooooooooooong summer?), it is such a bittersweet day. She is growing up way too fast and is so independent and old! :-) I couldn't get over how big she looked sitting in her desk, as I peeked in when I was leaving (they wouldn't let us in the classrooms)...I almost cried! That being said, I am SO proud of her and SO excited for all that lies ahead of her this year. She is turning into an amazing and incredible little person, whom I am blessed to call my own. One thought kept going through my head today...just before she was born, a friend wrote a poem that she gave Drew and I as a gift. There was a line in there that said, "Time passes quickly, memories are made. From bottles to diapers, then on to first grade". Well first grade? Here we are...you better take care of my "baby". Love you sweet Emerson ReBecca!!

Copper Triangle

So proud of the hubster for completing his first major bike ride after starting riding just a few months ago. Last weekend, we were in Copper Mountain for the Copper Triangle. It is sponsored by the Davis Phinney Foundation and is about an 80 mile ride that starts and ends in Copper. The riders journey over three passes...Fremont, Tennessee, and Vail. It was tough, but thanks to the Fat Daddies (Drew's riding buddies) and the beautiful Colorado day, he enjoyed every minute of it. As I seem to say over and over, we are truly blessed to have some of the best friends in the world who are not only amazing people, but they enjoy the outdoors and Colorado as much as we do! Special thanks to the Hooeys, the Jonsens, and the Papis for all their hard work and generosity over the weekend!!

The Fat Daddies: James Keohane, Matt Jonsen, Mike Papi, Drew, Troy Hooey, Jack Hirt (Papi's Brother-in-Law).

Time with Gramma and Grampa Maynard

It has been such a fun couple of weeks! In between our mountain weekends, we were able to head over to Grand Junction and spend some time with my mom and dad. The girls were on cloud nine with Gramma around for such a long time, and I really enjoyed the time I was able to spend with not only my parents, but my Gramma Maynard, who will be 96 in a couple weeks. 96???!!!! Yep...she is pretty amazing. While in GJ the girls enjoyed the Science and Math Center, the Dinosaur Museum, manis and pedis with Gramma, Red Robin with Gramma and Grampa, playing in the hot tub...the list just goes on and on! After GJ, we hopped in the car and headed to Vail for a few days to hang out before we met up with Drew in Copper Mountain. Such beautiful weather (most days)! Thanks so much, Mom and Dad, for such a fun, fun week. We love you SO much!!

Above: The girls enjoying a pedicure and a manicure courtesy of Gramma Maynard. Adorable that they have kids pedi chairs!!

Vail with the Hooey Family

While Mara and I were in Cheyenne, our lovely husbands took the kids up to my parents' place in Vail for the night. Saturday morning after the concert, we drove from Cheyenne to Vail to enjoy the rest of the weekend with them. It was an amazing weekend...we are so blessed to have such incredible friends in our lives!!

Damiano girls and Hooey kiddos: Sutton, Mackenzie, Quincy, Emerson, Jack, and Luke.

Another "visit" with KC

Thanks to all the planning and organizing by my sister-in-law, Dana, I headed up to Cheyenne Frontier Days with her, her friend Kim, and my dear friend, Mara to see Kenny again this summer. We had such a good time, despite our seats not being very good and getting in trouble for standing up...I kept laughing (because I was so angry) at how funny it would be for the cops to arrest a stay at home mom of two kids who wasn't doing anything except dancing and enjoying the music. Grrrr... We ended up moving and had a blast. He played over two hours...and it the evening was made even better because Jake Owen opened for him. For those of you who may not remember, he is a family friend of Trisha (a good friend from college)and her family and he played at her rehearsal dinner. So great to see him doing so well...the ladies LOVE him! :-)

My dear, dear friend Mara...she even got all "country-fied" for me!! :-)

Happy 4th!!

Just wishing you all a very happy and safe Fourth of July. Here's to the millions of people who have fought for the freedom of our country. We are so fortunate to live in the USA and enjoy all those freedoms that have been given to us so generously by you. Thank you!!

I can't shake every hand.

I can't put flowers on every grave.

I can't console every family member.

But I can say thank you.

You have given me the freedom I enjoy today.

Your blood was shed in place of mine.

Your family grieved so mine could rejoice.

All I can say is thank you.

There are not words big enough.

There is not a hug strong enough.

There is not a smile wide enough.

All I can offer is thank you.

You are my hero.

You are in my thoughts.

You are in my prayers.

For all you've done, thank you.

Lily Michaels

Copyright 2003

San Diego

June 21 - 27 found us in (partly) sunny San Diego, enjoying a beautiful, busy week with our dear friends Kelly Knudson and Marc Lazzareschi and their daughter Laurel. It was a fantastic week, full of sandy feet (and hair), whales, dolphins, and fish (oh, my!), roller coasters, mermaid tales, stories, dance parties, late nights, and an occasional meltdown (probably because of the late nights)... :-) We had the best time, thanks to Kelly and all of her planning. We stayed in an adorable house just "120 steps from the beach" that was perfect for our two families. It was such a joy to watch the daughter of one of my oldest and dearest friends play with my girls...it is one of those things I always looked forward to, and to see all three of them together, playing and singing (and whatever else) in such a fun place was just unbelievable. Thank you Marc and Kelly for spending the week with us. We love you all SO dearly and treasure the time we get to spend with you. We can't wait for our next adventure!!

Above: Our crew...Marc, Kel, Sutton, Emerson, Drew, Laurel, and me at Sea World.